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I'm going to change the world for the better or die trying.
-Nicholas P. Wilde


i was wrong about changing the way prisons are run. i've done my
homework and watched a whole mess of prison shows now, and it's
clear to me that they give people ten million chances and it's
not till they screw up too much or too big that they get sent
to the serious prisons.

anyway, since thanks giving was just here, i wrote sort of what
i'm thankful for.
my life isn't easy. but it's not as bad as it could be either. 
i have my own apartment, and it's a real apartment instead of 
living in a rooming house like i was 4 years ago. i live in a 
country where they have disability for people who can't work 
and health people to help me recover so that one day i might 
be able to work and earn my money. my symptoms are gradually 
slowing down. i used to hear voices every 5 seconds to every 
5 minutes. now somedays they almost don't even bug me. i've 
been making progress getting sleep every night, though i still 
have troubles like tonight i probably wont be able to sleep 
because i've a lot on my mind.

i'm teaching myself how to write computer code again, a 
hobby i used to love - but now i could maybe get a work 
from home job with it if i get good enough.

i have an awesome cat, awesome mom and sister, and awesome 

i've quit many drugs, only smoking a tiny bit of pot every 
other day now and i just took a major step to even cutting 
out the pot.

at this point i can say yes i like my life. but i earned it. 
even my mother says she would like me if i was just a person 
and not her son and that makes me proud.